I miss my house.  Period.  I miss 4020 Shady Oak Road.

I still drive by, probably should not do that.  But, I do.  I take the back roads to work, Baker Road to Excelsior hang a right, left on Shady Oak Road.  I drive by all of the condemned business and other houses that were acquired for this project.  It is sad seeing the empty buildings and houses.

A better road will be built, new businesses will go in.  Development will occur, that was maybe the plan.  I think about the people who owned those businesses and those homeowners who went into assisted living arrangements.  I think of my neighbor who couldn’t talk any more about being “acquired” and took an early buy out.  Yes, my beloved neighbor’s who had been in their home since the 1970’s, could not deal with the process any longer.  They left over a year ago.

Some nights I still cry.  I am not sure why.  But, I do.  I just do.  I think it might be that now I have too much time to reflect.  I was so busy putting our rental home in order that now that I am done, I have too much time on my hands.

We have continued to have a lot of company and visitors to our new “rental home” and everyone seems so happy we are unpacked and “settled”.  What else was I suppose to do?  I have to make it normal for my kid’s.  What am I suppose to do?  That is the question.  Am I suppose to just fold and give in and take what is given after building my dream home?  I don’t think so.  But, I am not sure what to do next.  I am pissed, really mad at our last offer, but being mad does what?  Nothing.  So, we don’t settle. We rent, after three homes and twenty years of ownership, we rent.

After having our perfect home for our family, we rent.  We have two young kids and now we rent.

I miss my house.

~Susan